


All is Fair in Love and War

by warqueenfuriosa



Series: I'm Craving You [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Reader-Insert, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 14:05:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8983639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warqueenfuriosa/pseuds/warqueenfuriosa
Summary: Cassian and Reader can't stand each other but when a mission goes bad, Reader puts herself in the line of fire to protect him. Fluff, angst, spaceships, and romance ensue.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Famous last words that always get me into trouble: "Oh I'll just write an itty bitty lil' fic!" A mini-novel later at 5am, I realize maybe I lied to myself a little bit... I tried to keep to the Star Wars universe as accurately as possible but I also used a teeny amount of creative license here and there too. Enormous thank you to broadlockland-of-cards on tumblr who came up with this idea and was so gracious to let me write it :)

I could do this mission alone with my eyes closed. A hoarder colony, squatting in a Naboo city, attacked a cargo ship and stole a priceless amount of medicine that was meant for a tiny, rustic dying planet. I really didn’t need help to fetch that medicine back. In fact, putting me with a team would only increase the chances of slowing me down and getting caught but orders are orders and I know better than to fight it. I’ll just get in, get it done, get out. Make it as quick and painless as possible.

If only my new team would just show up already…

I sighed and ran my hands over the control console of my ship, The Helldiver, one more time, checking that everything was in place, everything was working fine, before I stepped out of the cockpit and dropped to the pavement outside. The loading bay was buzzing with activity as usual but I didn’t see anyone striding towards my ship. If my team didn’t show up within five minutes, I was leaving without them. Screw orders.

Then I spotted them. They were impossible to miss, one slim, dark haired human with a cocky tilt to his shoulders, and that ridiculously tall, gangly droid always towering above him.

I groaned.

No. No no  _no_. Not Cassian Andor and K2. I got along with every single pilot on Yavin 4. Everyone. Except for Cassian and his grumpy sass-bot. I don’t know why we rubbed each other the wrong way. It just happened since day one. He glared at me, I glared back, that was that. End of story. We avoided each other as often as possible ever since, except for the few assignments like this one where we drew the short straws and got stuck with each other, bickering the whole damn time.

“Andor,” I said, crossing my arms. “Fancy running into you here.”

“Don’t act like this is my fault, okay?” he said. “I tried to talk my way out of it.”

“I’m sure you did.”

“Look, I’m not happy about this arrangement either so let’s just get this over with and move on.”

I gestured to my ship. “Sounds good to me. After you.”

K2 cocked his head to the side and stared at us. “The odds of our mission being successful are not good but with the unresolved and unreasonable levels of tension remaining from previous encounters…”

“K-Two,” I cut in. “Get in the damn ship and don’t mention the odds of our failure again, got it?”

“I understand,” K2 said, climbing into the ship.

“This is gonna be fun,” Cassian sighed.

“I heard that.”

“Good. Then I don’t have to repeat myself, unlike last time when you seemed to have an issue with hearing anything that was  _my voice_.”

I rolled my eyes towards the sky and sighed. This was going to be one hellishly long mission…

[][][]

The flight to Naboo was quiet, painfully quiet, apart from K2 clunking around at the controls next to me. And Cassian stood behind me.  _Hovering._

As we approached the lake that hid the Naboo city underwater, I prepared to dive, shutting down the thrusters and turning on the oxygen recycling system.

“Why did you turn off the thrusters?” Cassian asked.

“Because I want to come in quiet,” I replied, barely keeping my voice level. “And don’t be a backseat driver. You know I don’t like it.”

“I wouldn’t have to be a backseat driver if you kept the thrusters on so we wouldn’t slow down to a goddamn crawl.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“Then why…?”

I turned and shot an annoyed look at him. “Are you questioning how I run my ship?”

Cassian’s jaw tightened. “As a matter of fact, I am. If we get caught down here, there’ll be a hell of a lot of red tape I personally don’t want to deal with.”

“I have no plans to get caught.”

“That’s exactly the problem. You never plan for these kinds of things.”

I choked on a dry laugh. “Well, that certainly didn’t sound passive aggressive, did it?”

“It’s quite passive aggressive actually,” K2 said. “It seems to be the primary method both of you choose to communicate with.”

“K-Two,” I warned. “Stop it.” I turned to Cassian. “You don’t have the training necessary to fly underwater ships. I do. This is my ship and I choose how we go in. Clear?”

Cassian blew out a breath and nodded. “Fine. But don’t get us killed.”

“Not plannin’ on that either.”

He turned away, shaking his head, and I could have sworn I heard him mutter, “Of course you aren’t.” But I let it slide, just this once. Cassian Andor wasn’t likely to keep his mouth shut and there would be plenty of other fights to pick up with him later.

The water slipped over the ship. With the thrusters off, it was dead silent, save for the soft thrum in the background from the oxygen filtering system. The Naboo city glowed golden in the emerald green water, floating with pale ice-white bubbles shivering up to the surface before they disappeared. I steered around to the south side of the city and settled the Helldiver at a supply dock tunnel. After I flicked a few switches to purge the water and seal the ship to the entrance of the tunnel, I pushed away from the console and grabbed my jacket.

“Let’s get this party started,” I said.

[][][]

I loved my job sometimes, flying to distant planets and exploring the galaxy, especially when I had the cockpit all to myself, looking out across space at the millions of stars like glitter against the velvety black universe.

 

But now? I did not love my job. This city had the worst sewer system of any city I’d ever visited across the galaxy, which was ironic given that they lived surrounded by water. But they couldn’t just eject their raw sewage into the water around them. Imagine living in a bubble with shit and vomit and garbage floating by.

So it was filtered, recycled, down here in the rotten egg smelling sewers under the city. The only joy I was getting out of this experience was the green tinge to Cassian’s skin and the way he was trying very hard not to gag.

The further into the tunnels we progressed, the more hoarders scuttled around like cockroaches, covered in a myriad of damp, foul-smelling and stained rags.

“We should split up,” I said. “This is taking too long already and we have no idea where the medicine is being stored.”

“I’ll go north and circle around,” Cassian replied. “We’ll meet up in the middle. Take K-Two with you.”

I glanced at K2. K2 glanced down at me.

“No,” we said together.

Cassian groaned and set off into the northern section of the tunnels with K2 trailing after him.

Several hours later, there was still no sign of the medicine, my feet ached, and my stomach was in a chronic knot of disgust over the smell that just kept getting thicker and thicker the more I walked. Cassian was due to show up at any moment but he was already taking much longer than I thought he should be…

A cheer echoed through the tunnels and I perked up, my hand settling on the twin blasters at my hips. That sound seemed oddly out of place down here in the stink. The hoarders scuttling around didn’t look like they had much of anything to cheer about.

Another cheer went up, louder this time, followed by howls and clapping. I followed the sound through the maze of tunnels, periodically marking the hallways with a small muddy X so I could find my way back.

The tunnels opened up into a pit surrounded by hoarders of all shapes and sizes, screaming with excitement over the fight occurring before them. Two wookies were in the pit, taking swings and bites at each other. Fights like this were common in the poorer regions of cities. It was a quick way to earn a little money on the side that didn’t get taxed by officials. Not to mention, it was perfect for worming into the good graces of the people down here….

The wookie match ended with both wookies getting herded off, bloodied and exhausted, and just as I turned away to go hunt down Cassian and K2, a new match was introduced by a besalisk with a booming voice.

“Next up, an Imperial droid has provided us with his human prisoner for entertainment,” the besalisk said.

A chorus of booing and hisses went up from the crowd as Cassian was shoved into the ring, his jacket missing and his shirt collar open at the throat. He looked remarkably calm, considering illegal fights like this didn’t exactly favor human participants.

“Who cares to see this human beaten bloody?” the besalisk asked.

The crowd screamed with excitement. I sighed and shrugged out of my jacket, stripping off my belt and hiding my blasters behind a twist of piping and garbage. I rolled up my sleeves and stepped forward.

“May I do the honors?” I said.

The crowd went silent. Cassian’s eyes widened slightly and he shook his head a fraction of an inch. I grinned and ran my tongue over my bottom lip as I jumped into the ring in front him, my boots sinking into the sandy soil, stained brown-red from the blood of previous matches.

“We have our match!” the besalisk said.

The crowd roared again, stomping against the pavement and making the tunnels howl with deafening echoes.

“What the hell are you doing?” Cassian hissed. He was just standing there, arms limp at his sides.

“Fighting you,” I said, crouching into a ready stance and putting my fists up. “So you don’t have to fight some other butt-ugly creature that would kick your ass in a heartbeat.”

“I’m not going to fight you.”

“Oh come on. You can’t say you’ve never thought about taking a swing at me every once in a while.”

“Thinking about it and actually carrying it out are two completely different things.”

“Well if you don’t fight, you’ll blow our cover.”

“Fine, then I’ll blow our…”

I launched at him. Cassian Andor never did something without having a good reason to but damn it, I wasn’t going to let him back down from this fight just because he was up against me. Cassian blocked my first blow easily and retaliated with a mean right hook that caught me off guard, snapping my head to the side and sending sparks blinking across my vision. I drove my knee up into his gut and the air punched out of him as he doubled over. His gaze darted to me, his dark eyes blazing.

Oh yeah. Got him fired up.

He came at me, head low, eager for a fight now. I charged at him, ready and willing to meet him in the middle. We collided, my arm hooked around his throat at the same time his elbow rammed into my ribs, sending a spike of hot pain through me. He turned, yanked my arm over his shoulder and sent me tumbling head over heels and I landed on my back. My vision blanked for a moment as the remaining gasp of breath in my lungs disappeared.

Before I could react, Cassian was on top of me, pinning my arms over my head, his knees braced on either side of my hips. Suddenly, I found there was nowhere else to look except his eyes as he filled my vision, his face mere inches away from mine. The stench of the sewers was gone, replaced by the sharp, spicy smell of his soap, the faint scent of leather still clinging to his skin, with the thick smell of engine oil and something softer, warmer underneath, like cloves.

I struggled to pull in a breath against the blinding pain searing through my body and the weight of Cassian bearing down on me. My lungs ached for air. And I didn’t like this, any of this, being vulnerable, having Cassian winning, beating me. I didn’t like being pinned like this beneath him, my body practically humming with the awareness of the bunch and pull of his muscles against me, the strain of his thighs, the strength in his hands, the rise and fall of his chest with each breath.

And I sure as hell didn’t like the way my heart was hammering at my rib cage like a traitor.

“Bastard,” I hissed, fighting against his arms, trying to regain the upper hand.

He grinned and looked me up and down, one eyebrow raised.

“Even when you’re flat on your back,” he said, “you still run that mouth of yours.”

“Bite me.”

He laughed, eyes dancing, which only pissed me off more. I gritted my teeth and wiggled underneath him, searching for a position where I could throw him off. If I could just get my foot under me….

The teasing smirk on his face slipped as he felt me shift beneath him. His gaze traveled down my body in a silent, hesitant question. Was he honestly concerned that he was hurting me? Now? That was the whole point of fighting me,  _Christ_.

There. Finally, I inched my foot under me and shoved my hips up to the side, levering Cassian off. I twisted over, now pinning him beneath me, my forearm pressed to his throat.

“Shit,” he croaked. “You don’t have to make it look so convincing. At least try not to kill me here please.”

I chuckled. “Not so cocky when you’re losing, are you?”

He wheezed a breath, wincing against the pressure on his airway, and managed a grimace of a smile.

“You were the one so eager to get into it, not me,” he said. “I was never supposed to be the main event.”

Before I could ask what he meant, the world exploded. Heat burst at my back and flung me forward, crashing on top of Cassian, my ears ringing. His arms came around me, one hand at the back of my head, the other wrapped around my middle as he flipped me over and pressed me into the sandy, bloody floor, his breath hot against the curve of my neck and shoulder, his body curled around me like a shield.

The explosion subsided and chaos ensued as hoarders scattered, shrieking in panic. Cassian pulled me to a sitting position and brushed the sand away from my face, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

“You okay?” he asked, his hand warm and firm against my cheek. His eyes were dark and concerned as he searched my face.

He sounded a million miles away and my head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, jackhammering away at my brain. But I nodded and grabbed his shoulder as I got to my feet, swaying slightly, disoriented. A hole had been blown in the tunnel wall a short distance from where we stood and K2 was striding towards us, the crate of stolen medicine balanced on his shoulder as he waded through the hoarders scattering around him like rats.

“You got into the pit on purpose?” I said to Cassian, my voice coming out more like a shout than I had intended.

He nodded and took my elbow in a firm yet gentle grip, guiding me back to the Helldiver. “I was a distraction,” he said. “Keep the crowds entertained while K-Two worked his magic.”

“There was no magic involved,” K2 said. “Only a basic chemical process and a simple mechanical engineering malfunction.”

My head was still ringing by the time we got back to the Helldiver and careened into the open air, thrusters at full blast. Stabs of pain were beginning to blossom across my body and I groaned, slipping further in the pilot’s seat, my head tipped back, eyes closed.

A hand settled on my shoulder lightly and I glanced up to see Cassian holding a wet, clean rag out to me.

“For your eye,” he said. “You’re going to have one hell of a shiner.”

“Can’t say I’m sorry about the knee to the gut though,” I replied. “That was pretty satisfying.”

He laughed softly. “Why does that not surprise me?”

“All’s fair in love and war.”

“I knew you could fly well, didn’t know you could fight even better.”

“Cassian Andor,” I said, feigning shock. “Was that a compliment?”

“I believe it was,” K2 said. “But it conflicts with how many times he calls you, quote, a pain in the ass and…”

“K-Two!” Cassian barked. “That's enough, thank you.”

“Yes sir.”

Cassian shook his head. I stifled a laugh as I pressed the wet rag to my swollen, tender eye.

“I totally beat you by the way,” I said.

Cassian’s head shot up. “Did not. You were definitely losing.”

I snorted. “Yes you were. Glad you’re man enough to admit it.”

“Wait a second. I know what this is.”

I turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. “Oh really?”

“You just don’t like to admit that I’m right. My plan worked. I got the medicine out. And you can’t stand that I was right and you weren’t.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s what you came up with? That I’m jealous of your stupid ass plan?”

“It’s not stupid if it worked which it did. I was right.”

“Yeah, I got that the first time you mentioned it.”

“He’s bragging in order to provoke you,” K2 said. “And it appears to be working. You are quite easy to irritate.”

“Not helping,” I said with a glare.

Cassian braced an arm against the ceiling of the ship, smirking. “Definitely got you figured out.”

“You wish.”

[][][]

Cassian Andor and I went our separate ways after that mission. We passed each other occasionally in the loading bay at Yavin 4 but for one whole year, we managed to avoid drawing the short straws and didn’t get stuck on any missions together. We glared at each other a little less but we were happy to keep our distance and fly our own ships, without pestering the hell out of each other.

That is, until a basic weapons pick up mission in Tatooine with some Tusken raider contacts came along. I knew Tatooine like the back of my hand so I volunteered to do the job. It was run of the mill stuff and I got to do it solo, thank the stars.

But when I grabbed my gear and headed to the loading bay, there was Cassian Andor leaning against Helldiver, actually touching my ship without my permission, with K2 standing next to him.

“What are you doing?” I said. “Get away from my ship. Stop touching it.”

Cassian didn’t move, just stared at me with that infuriatingly steady, dark gaze of his.

“You’re not going alone,” he said.

My eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me?” I took a step towards him, my head tilted to the side. “Did you…are you really telling me what I can and can’t do?”

“No, I’m saying I’m back up.”

“You gonna fight me about it? Because I seem to recall the last time I fought you, I kicked your ass.”

Cassian’s eyes narrowed. “You always had a terrible memory.”

“Insults will never win a girl’s heart, Andor,” I said, pushing past him.

“That’s Ho-Pha’s territory you’re heading into,” Cassian said without turning around.

I stopped on Helldiver’s ramp, waiting for him to continue.

“He runs a black market spice trade when he isn’t collaborating with Tusken raiders to rob people blind. He enslaves kids, works them to death. None of them reach their thirteenth birthday.”

I closed my eyes and stifled a sigh. “You sound like you know an awful lot about him.”

“I tracked him for a few years when I first joined the rebels. Shot a hole in his right shoulder but he got away.”

“So this is unfinished business for you. That would make this basic mission a hundred times more dangerous, Andor.”

He finally turned to look at me. “It’s all yours. I’m following your lead on this one. I’m just here for back up.”

“Fine,” I said. “But no backseat driving or I swear to God, I’ll punch you in the face again.”

“I believe she means to carry out that threat,” K2 said.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it, K-Two,” Cassian replied. “I don’t doubt it one little bit.”

[][][]

“You are  _insane_  if you think that’s a good plan,” Cassian said.

“It’s perfectly reasonable,” I said. “You’re closer to this than I am and it’ll mess with your judgment. K-Two, tell him.”

Cassian glared up at K2. “Don’t.”

“I’m afraid she’s right,” K2 said anyway. “Your emotions will alter how you handle a delicate situation such as this.”

“Thanks for the support, buddy.”

“It’s logical,” I plowed on. “I’ll do the pickup and you stay hidden on sniper duty in case things go haywire.”

“But I should be there. Or K-Two. Someone should go with you. It’s better if you don’t show up alone.”

“That’s the whole point. I’m supposed to make the pickup by myself. That’s the deal.” I hesitated at the look of concern in Cassian’s eyes. “I’ll be fine, Andor,” I said, softening my voice.

He blew out a breath of frustration and turned away, staring out the cockpit windshield.

“I don’t like it,” he said.

“Well that’s the first time we’ve ever agreed on anything,” I replied with a small reassuring smile. “Besides, you and K-Two will have my back. Nothing bad will happen to me.”

I stood and pulled a chest of clothes from the storage compartment overhead. Cassian crossed his arms, scowling. He could pout all he wanted to, I was going through with this whether he liked it or not. I dug around in my clothes until I found a black shirt with black pants. Nothing distinctive to draw attention to me, unlike my rebel issued blasters and clothing.

I sat on the chest and as I tugged off my boots, I caught Cassian staring at me.

“What?” I said.

He crossed the narrow space of the ship and nudged the edge of a lacy piece of clothing poking out of the chest with the toe of his boot.

“Please, dear God, tell me you are not wearing that,” he said. “Because if you are, I don’t care how hard you hit me, I will fight you.”

“Considering that’s just my underwear, I sure hope I’d have on a little more than that.”

I coughed a laugh behind my hand as Cassian’s face flushed bright red and he turned away with a muttered, “Oh.”

Even though I might want to throttle Cassian ninety percent of the time – terrible odds, K2 would say, it’s a miracle Cassian survived so long around me – he didn’t look so tough with that fierce blush coloring his cheeks. My irritation with him melted a bit and I had mercy on him, trying to put him at ease so he didn’t squirm anymore. I tossed my much more modest and sensible outfit at him and the clothing caught on his head. He tugged it off, his hair ruffled slightly from static electricity.

“Does that pass your test, you prude?” I teased.

He glanced at it and tossed it back with a grunt. “Good thinking.”

I bit back a smile and grabbed the clothes. “That sounds dangerously close to a second compliment, Andor. Be careful, you might be goin’ soft on me. Don’t look.”

A flicker of panic flashed across his face and he whipped around, one hand covering his eyes, head bowed, as I changed clothes.

“Coast is clear,” I said, hanging my blasters on a hook on the wall. I didn’t like going in without them but I didn’t want to anger the Tusken raider contact either.

Hesitantly, Cassian glanced over his shoulder, his back rigid. He visibly relaxed when he realized I was fully clothed and presentable.

“Here,” he said, unhooking a knife from his belt and holding it out to me. “So you won’t be completely empty-handed when you go in there.”

I accepted it and clipped it onto my own belt. “Thank you,” I said.

He nodded and said nothing. Silence stretched for an awkward moment before I surged into action again and pushed out of the ship, heading out into the desert that stretched across the horizon, pale brown and deceptively lifeless. A canyon cut deep into the desert floor, rock walls towering high into the blue-white sky. The rendezvous point was tucked in there somewhere, the prime position for an ambush by Tusken raiders. Or this Ho-Pha Cassian was on edge about.

Cassian scrambled up the rocks, sniper rifle strapped to his back, in search of a hidden position. K2 stayed at the ship, keeping the engine running in case we needed to escape as soon as I gave the word, though I didn’t have any intention of having this mission go wrong.

I walked into the canyon, making sure my hand was a safe distance in the air and away from my knife so I didn’t look like a threat. Raiders would be watching me out here, I knew that. It was only a question of how many.

I came around a bend in the canyon and the rendezvous point was there, three crates stacked atop each other in the desert, with two Tusken raiders on either side. And between them, stood the slim, pale green figure of an Elomin man, a wicked curved blade at his hip. Blunt wide horns protruded from his head and when he grinned, row upon row of shark-like black teeth flashed at me.

“You insist I come alone but you brought a friend,” I said to the two raiders. “Hardly seems fair.”

“My name,” the Elomin man said, “is Ho-Pha and you’re in my territory, little girl.”

So this was who Cassian was so concerned about. And if he could use that curved blade as well as he wore it for intimidation, I was up shit creek without a paddle. I raised both hands, palms out, and carefully reached into my belt to retrieve a wad of bills. I held them out to the nearest raider.

“I don’t care who you are,” I said. “We had a deal. Weapons for cash. No questions asked.”

Ho-Pha chuckled, a low, dark sound as he came closer. I stood my ground and looked up at him.

“I don’t like being taken for a fool,” he hissed.

“Neither do I.”

“You’ve been stealing weapons from my raiders for a pittance. The price has doubled, take it or leave it.”

I gritted my teeth. This was going south too fast. Forget the weapons, I had to get out of here as fast as possible but I didn’t dare turn my back on Ho-Pha or those raiders. One wrong move, one whiff that I was turning tail, they’d kill me, deal be damned.

“My business isn’t with you,” I said. “It’s with the raiders.”

Ho-Pha bared his teeth and sucked in a breath. “You think I don’t know what you’re up to, rebel trash?”

I went still. Stay calm, smooth things over. Everything will be fine.

“You were supposed to come alone,” he continued then reached out to cup my chin.

I forced myself not to tense despite the sickly damp feel of his touch.

“But you’re lying,” he said. “And now I have to make an example of you for the whole galaxy to see.”

“We’re done here,” I said. “No deal. Keep your weapons.”

“Oh no, little girl, you’re not running away from me. No one leaves unless I let them and I’m not feeling particularly generous today. So you must choose.”

“Choose what?”

“Someone has to get hurt.”

“No they don’t.”

“Oh yes they do. Will it be you?” He paused, tapping his fingers against the hilt of his blade. “Or Cassian Andor?”

My mind flew through possibilities. Cassian had a history with this creature. No matter what I said, he wanted to hurt Cassian. And I wasn’t going to let that happen. I had to force his hand. There was no getting out of this cleanly. It was too late for that.

I went for my knife and Ho-Pha drew his blade in a flash, burying it between my ribs with a savage twist. A gasp tore from my lips and I just barely managed to hold onto my reasoning long enough to slash with my own blade in return, leaving a blazing gash across Ho-Pha’s chest. He roared with fury and stumbled back, the two raiders stepping forward to cover him.

Cassian open fired, taking out the two raiders in front of me as I struggled to stay upright, to keep fighting. More raiders poured over the canyon walls and Cassian kept firing but the noise of battle was fading around me as I looked down at the bloodied blade still protruding from my rib cage.

Cassian slid down the canyon walls, rifle propped against his shoulder as he backed up in my direction.

“Time to go,” he said. “Let’s get back to the…”

“Cassian,” I wheezed. The effort that one word took sent a lick of white fire shooting through my lungs, through my chest.

Cassian’s gaze darted to me. He dropped his rifle and surged towards me as I folded in on myself, felt myself falling for only a moment before he caught me.

“No, no, no,” he said, his voice a soft, desperate whisper. He shifted and his arm came around me. He eased me back, braced against the solid warmth of his chest, his chin brushing the top of my head.

“I…can’t breathe,” I rasped.

Cassian’s hand settled against my forehead, tipping my head to rest against his shoulder.

“I know, I know, just hold on,” he said. “I got you.”

My hand brushed the blade still embedded deep in my chest and I sobbed at the searing heat that blazed through me. Cassian took my hand away, lacing his fingers with mine.

“Don’t do that, sweetheart, don’t touch it,” he said.

I turned slightly, my forehead brushing the side of his neck, my fingers tightening around his with a death grip. The faint smell of leather and cloves broke through the hazy panic of my thoughts.

“Goddamn it,” he growled. “Hey, look at me. Stay with me, okay?”

He hooked my arm around his neck and slid his arms under me. He paused for a second, his forehead pressed to the top of my head.

“I’m so sorry,” he said.

Then he lifted me up and a strangled, broken noise escaped me, my fingers tightening around his neck as I struggled to hold onto consciousness, the world pulsing black around me.

Cassian took me back to the ship and barked orders to K2 that I barely heard, not with the way my body felt like it was on fire and each breath was a struggle to pull past my burning ribs. Cassian set me down on the floor of the ship, my head on his lap as he fumbled for a medical kit. He pressed a wad of gauze to my middle, careful not to touch the blade.

“Talk to me,” he said, one hand brushing my hair back from my forehead. “Tell me what happened.”

I blinked slowly, once, twice, my breath rattling wet and thick in my throat, too loud in the small space of the ship.

“I…don’t know,” I said. “Didn’t like…the trade agreement. And he…knew.”

Cassian frowned. “Knew what?”

“About you. That…you were with me.”

Cassian’s eyes darkened and he shook his head, muttering under his breath, something I couldn’t make out, even if I had the energy to. He turned away, digging for more gauze in the medical kit.

“Said…I had…to choose.”

Cassian’s gaze darted back to me. “What do you mean? Choose what?”

“Example…someone…get hurt.”

I could see Cassian piecing it together in his mind, see the way his face tightened with concern and understanding.

“It was supposed to be me,” he said. “Ho-Pha wanted to hurt me, not you. So you rushed him.”

I nodded and my breath caught in my throat, making me cough, blood staining my teeth. Cassian swore softly and curled his hand around the back of my neck, supporting my head so I could breathe better. I barely managed to slide my hand up his side, my fingers twisted into the fabric of his shirt before it was too hard to breathe anymore, too hard to keep my eyes open, too hard to stay awake…

[][][]

I woke in the med bay of Yavin 4, the rough scratchy sands of Tatooine already a hazy, distant memory, clouded by pain and blood and panic.

A nurse came to my side and put a hand on my shoulder.

“Rest easy now,” she said. “You’ve been through quite a bit.”

“Cassian,” I croaked. “Where is he?”

“He dropped you off, made sure you got out of surgery safely.”

A tiny pinprick of disappointment stabbed in my gut, mingled with a warm, yet confused, feeling. He’d stuck around long enough to see I was okay but not when I woke up?

“I’ve never seen a man take to the war path the way he did,” the nurse continued.

I looked up at her with a frown. “What?”

“Cassian Andor,” she said. “When he knew you were going to be fine – a miracle, by the way, after that rusty chunk of metal was stuck through you – he left, took that droid with him too, back to Tatooine.”

I closed my eyes and groaned. “Why the hell would he do that?”

The nurse smiled slightly. “Judging by the puppy dog look on that man’s face, I’d say it’s because he cares very deeply for you. My guess? Whoever did this to you doesn’t have much longer to live.”

[][][]

I didn’t see Cassian for an entire week and with each passing day, it gnawed at me. There was no contact from him, no word that he hadn’t gotten himself killed in the middle of the desert. Just silence.

I couldn’t stand being in the med bay anymore, not with Cassian still out there somewhere and the way my skin was itching underneath all the bandages wrapped around my rib cage. The thought of heading out there after him to hunt him down and drag his sorry ass back here did cross my mind, more than once. But I could barely walk to my own quarters, let alone to the loading bay to fly my own ship.

So I waited, cursing Cassian Andor’s name over and over and silently pleading for him to get home safely. I grabbed a pile of blankets and a pillow and made myself comfortable in a spot in the loading bay, off to the side. The second Cassian Andor dared to set foot on Yavin 4, he was going to get one hell of a big piece of my mind.

At the end of the week, Cassian flew in and landed well after midnight. I flung my blankets aside and pushed myself to my feet, swaying slightly. As Cassian and K2 came down the ramp, I made my way towards them.

“Cassian, you jerk,” I said.

Cassian startled and turned to me. “What the…What are you doing out of the med bay? That blade almost hit your spine. You should be resting.”

“Screw that,” I shot back. “What the hell were you thinking, going back to Tatooine after what just happened?”

Instead of a reply, Cassian took one long stride to close the space between us and wrapped his arms around me. The indignation, fear, and worry that had been seething through every muscle in my body all week melted away and I buried my face in his shoulder, breathing in the comforting smell of leather and engine oil.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he said quietly.

I laughed then winced and tightened my fingers against his back. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“Sorry.”

He pulled away and his absence left a distinctly unpleasant coolness to my skin that I found I didn’t particularly like.

“I’ve been an ass to you,” he said.

“Yes you have.”

“Nice to see your honesty is in tact.”

“Well, I haven’t exactly been the best example of behavior to you either.”

“You should have let Ho-Pha come for me.”

“Fat chance. I don’t like it when my people get threatened. But you really shouldn’t say things like that. It’s very tempting.”

Cassian’s eyebrows rose. “So I’m your people now? I thought you couldn’t stand me.”

I shrugged. “You’re all right. I guess. When you don’t tell me how to drive my ship.”

Cassian shifted and glanced back at where my ship was docked, tucked to the side of the bay. “Speaking of which…”

I went rigid with dread. “What? What is it?”

“Your ship took a bit of damage after you were hit,” he said with a grimace.

“ _What?”_  I said, moving past him. “How bad is it?”

“Nothing too serious,” Cassian said as he caught my arm to stop my advance. “I had it fixed. But I thought you’d like to know, since it’s your ship and all.”

I stopped and glanced back at him. “That’s a distinctly less than asshole thing to do. What’s gotten into you, Cassian?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I could say the same for you.”

I snorted. “There is nothing wrong with me.”

He hummed and took a step towards me slowly until he was mere inches away. I breathed in. Leather and engine oil and cloves. Always. He was so close, I could feel the heat radiating from him and I automatically tipped forward on my toes, just a little…

“You used to call me Andor all the time,” he said. His voice dropped to a low whisper. “Now it’s just Cassian. And not nearly as…aggressive.”

My heart felt like it was about to jump up my throat as Cassian reached out, his hand sliding along my jaw. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

“Cassian…” I breathed.

“Just like that,” he replied. “Much less aggressive. If I didn’t know any better, I might say you were going soft on me.”

“Shut up.”

“I take it back.”

He smiled slightly, his thumb smoothing over my cheek in a steady, even rhythm. His other hand came to rest at my hip and I leaned into him now, unabashed, my hands sliding into his jacket and around his waist.

“Please don’t scare me like that again,” he said.

“I’m making no promises.”

“Of course not.”

I nudged at his ear with my nose, my lips barely ghosting over his jawline. He went very still but his fingers tightened on my hip and I bit back a smile. For all his stoic, tough guy talk, Cassian Andor was putty in my hands in a heartbeat.

Cassian’s hand came to rest at the small of my back, pulling me gently closer to him until we were flush together. And it was my turn to melt into putty in his hands as he kissed me, lightly at first, a mere breath of a kiss across my lips.

I slid my hands up his chest and into his hair. His arm tightened around me as he kissed me harder until I had to hold onto him to keep my balance. I kissed him back just as hard, open mouthed and hungry, always matching him, tangling with him, word for word, bite for bite. I shoved at his jacket and managed to get it halfway off before an appreciative whistle echoed through the loading bay.

Cassian and I jerked apart. A pilot raised her hand in greeting as she passed and laughed. Heat blossomed up my neck and across my face. Cassian cleared his throat and tugged his jacket into place, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

“So I take it that means you don’t hate me anymore,” he said.

“Maybe,” I replied, still unable to look at him. “What about you?”

I heard him step up behind me, whisper-soft in the silence, his hand resting at the side of my neck, his thumb settled in the hollow under my ear. He kissed the small stretch of bare skin at my shoulder, just above the collar of my shirt.

“I never hated you,” he said.

I huffed a laugh. “Sure acted like it for a long time.”

“You confused me so I gave you a wide berth but…I never hated you.”

I turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. “Me? I’m the confusing one? The first time we met, I didn’t even a say a word and you looked like you wanted to have nothing to do with me.”

He laughed softly and brushed his thumb over my chin. “Because I couldn’t think clearly around you. That’s never happened to me before and I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

“I explained to him,” K2 piped up, “that this is a normal physical reaction to a sexual response in the human body and…”

I laughed so hard, my ribs blazed but I couldn’t stop. Cassian’s eyes widened and he swore at K2, telling him to leave. He returned to stand in front of me, his hands on my elbows as I gasped for air, doubled over, tears of laughter and pain in my eyes.

“He means well,” Cassian said. “Most of the time.”

Pressing a hand to the ache in my chest, I slowly straightened until I was standing upright again. I took Cassian’s face in my hands and kissed him until I couldn’t breathe without smelling him, couldn’t move without feeling him against me. He clutched at me, his hands splayed against my back.

“Wait,” he said, barely pulling away far enough to speak. “Wait, you need rest.”

“Yeah right, Andor, you’re not backing out on me now.”

His eyes brightened and a corner of his mouth tipped up. “Back to your old self again already.”

Cassian took my hands in both of his and kissed the back of my knuckles as he led me to his sleeping quarters. As soon as the door slid shut behind us, closing us into the heavy silence of his room, he turned to face me. I nipped at his jawline, forcing him back and back again until he hit the foot of his bed and he sat down, taking me with him. I climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, my mouth hovering above his on a shared breath. His hands came to settle at the waistband of my pants, his thumbs sliding beneath the hem of my shirt, sending shivers rippling across my skin.

Without looking away from him, I peeled his jacket off and tossed it aside. I dragged my hips across his, grinding against him. He whispered a soft curse under his breath and his fingertips bit into my back. He pushed my shirt up around my middle but I shoved it back down so fast, his eyebrows rose and he blinked, startled.

“Shirt stays on,” I said.

Cassian frowned slightly. “You know we don’t have to do this if you’re not ready…”

“No,” I cut in. “I want to. I’m ready.”

Still, Cassian said nothing, watching me with that infuriatingly steady gaze.

“Christ,” I muttered. “Does nothing get by you?”

He brushed his nose against mine with a light kiss to my bottom lip.

“Not if I can help it,” he replied. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Now would you stop talking and start moving?”

Cassian’s fingers retreated from my skin and came to rest on the tops of my thighs. I groaned and dropped my forehead to his shoulder. He chuckled and kissed the side of my neck.

“Talk to me,” he mumbled against my skin.

I sighed. “It’s not your fault, you know.”

I felt Cassian’s smile fade. He said nothing for several seconds.

“I know you blame yourself,” I continued. “That’s why you went after Ho-Pha when I was in the med bay.”

“I should have ended it a long time ago,” he said, his voice stony and rough.

I pulled away and tipped his head up to look at me. “How old were you? When you first ran into Ho-Pha?”

He shrugged. “Eighteen, I think.”

“He’s a criminal, a very good one. He’s had years of experience manipulating and killing people. You were eighteen, Cassian. He would have killed you if you’d tried to kill him. You were too young.”

But I could tell Cassian didn’t believe me, or refused to listen. His hand smoothed over my hair and down my back.

“I’m fine,” I whispered.

“No you’re not,” he replied.

I pressed my hips into his again, harder this time, more insistent, and he hissed a breath, his eyes fluttering closed for a second. The movement caused a pull in my ribs but it was worth it, to see the way Cassian tensed beneath me, trying to maintain his composure when I was unraveling him piece by delicious piece, slowly, agonizingly, torturing him in the best way possible.

“I’m fine,” I repeated.

“But you don’t even want me to see the bandages, let alone how much it hurts to move,” he pointed out.

I went still. How did he know these things?

“You already blame yourself too much for what happened,” I said. “You don’t need a reminder.”

“Let me be the judge of what I can and can’t handle.”

I hesitated, my fingers trailing over his lips and down the column of his throat to rest at the hollow between his collar bones, the steady pulse of his heart beat thrumming beneath my fingertips.

“Okay,” I said.

Cassian raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side to look me in the eye. “Yes?”

I nodded, a smile creeping across my lips, nervous and excited all at once. “Yes.”

Cassian reached for my shirt and as he took the hem, I stopped him, my hands on his wrists.

“It still bleeds through the bandages a bit,” I said. “The…wound. And it’s one hell of an ugly scar too so…”

“Hey,” he said, kissing the bottom of my jaw. “I might not be happy about how you got it but it makes no difference to me what it looks like, sweetheart.”

I looked down at him and brushed his hair away from his forehead. I moved my hands away from his wrists and let him push my shirt up over my head, shivering as his hands skimmed over my bare skin.

“Say it again,” I said.

“What? That I’m not happy about…”

“No, the other thing.”

He paused, mentally running through what he’d said before. Then understanding dawned and his eyes brightened with mischief.

“Sweetheart,” he said with a smile.

I bit my lip but I couldn’t stop the grin that spread across my face, so wide, it made my cheeks ache.

“Yes,” I said. “That.”

Slowly, we peeled the clothes away from each other. I found bruises and burns on Cassian’s body, still fresh and tender from his week long run in the desert, chasing down Ho-Pha. I trailed my fingers over the sensitive spots, pulling back when Cassian winced, but I didn’t ask about them. I wanted him to forget. I wanted the rest of the galaxy to not touch him. Cassian Andor was all mine tonight, just for a little while.

Cassian’s hand ghosted over the bandage around my ribs. “Are you sure?” he asked. “If it hurts…”

“Stop asking me that, Andor,” I said between kisses. “You’re driving me crazy.”

He laughed against my mouth then broke off on a gasp when my hand ducked into the waistband of his pants and wrapped around the hard length of him. He arched up into my hand, desperately searching for friction, and I trailed my thumb over the head of his cock, back and forth at just the right pressure to leave him shaking.

“I’m not going to last if you keep doing that,” he growled.

I climbed off of him, kicking my pants to the side, and settled over him again, the weight of his cock pressed to the soft inside of my thigh. But as I rose up on my knees, I winced at the pull in my ribs.

Cassian curled his hands around my waist. “I told you not to hurt yourself over this,” he said.

“Oh come on, Andor,” I shot back. “When have you ever known me to do as I’m told?”

He smiled, small and concerned, and wrapped his arms around me. He twisted and laid me out beneath him, his hand sliding over my body with a feather-light touch that made me reach for him in return, aching for more. He pressed a kiss between my breasts, just above the bandage, nosing along my skin until my body was humming with how close he was, with how much I needed to touch him, to feel him, to kiss him as much as I could before the rest of the galaxy swept him away from me again.

Cassian kissed his way back up to me and I placed my hands on either side of his face as he looked at me. Slowly, inch by inch, he slid into me, and I sucked in a surprised breath at how good and perfect and easy he felt. I raised my hips up to meet him as far as I could bear despite the burning pull in my ribs.

Cassian eased out of me and thrust back in, smooth and gentle, over and over, never speeding up or getting too rough, not with one hand constantly resting lightly on the reminder of my bandaged ribs. The relief was heavy in every touch, every kiss, and not just from Cassian. I didn’t realize how worried I’d been until he held me like this, with his face buried in my shoulder, his hand cradling the back of my head, the slide of his skin against mine as he steadily brought me to the edge, a slow and heady rush that I could feel coiling through every muscle in my body.

When had I fallen so hard for him? All I could think of now was the sinful way his tongue slid into my mouth, the way his arms came around me, protectively tight and starving to touch and be touched. He wasn’t supposed to care like this and neither was I. We were rebel pilots, fighters. We moved on and didn’t let anyone in. Sex was a release, quick and dirty and done in a few hurried minutes. But as I kissed Cassian and felt him push deeper into me, surrounding me with the smell of leather and engine oil and cloves, the warmth of his skin, the gentle strength of his hands supporting me, I never wanted it to end.

I wanted _him_.

Cassian’s hand floated over my hip and settled between my thighs, barely brushing over my clit. I whimpered and tightened around him, fingertips scraping into his back, and his name fell from my lips like a prayer. He continued to thrust into me, once, twice, sending a fresh wave of pleasure surging through me and I forgot everything else, except him, the smell of him, the feel of him, the taste of him.

A moment later Cassian went rigid, breathing ragged against my collar bone as he kissed my neck. I came back down slowly, skin slick with sweat, my ribs screaming from the exertion. Cassian sagged against me, his hand sliding over my waist as he propped himself up on one elbow to cup my face and kiss me, light and content.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked quietly, voice hoarse and rough.

I smiled at him and brushed the back of my hand against his cheek. “Never been better.”

“Do we have a truce then?”

“I don’t know. Are you going to keep pestering me about how I fly my ship?”

“Are you going to keep getting yourself into trouble that I have to fish you out of?”

I gasped and feigned an elbow jab to his ribs. He dodged it easily and tucked himself behind me, pressing a breathy warm kiss to my shoulder with laughter.

“No truce I guess,” he sighed.

“You’ll just have to stick around long enough to earn my good graces,” I replied.

He hummed as he trailed a line of kisses up my spine. “That’s exactly what I plan to do.”

I took his hand and pulled his arm around me, my thumb brushing over the back of his knuckles. I could get used to having Cassian Andor around…

 


End file.
